A few weeks ago every proverbial pot in my life was moved off to the side for cooling. What I expected pain management or massage therapy to be the answer to my TMJ pain turned into my worst nightmare. Literally. But guess what. God was not surprised!
Over 500 miles, two MRIs, multiple talks off the ledge, a CT scan, a nerve block (the best part hands down – the picture below does not give it justice), 2 specialists, buckets of tears, a surgeon, 75 panic attacks, and countless hours of Google searches, I faced the reality that I would need open joint arthroplasty on my left TMJ. If you’re curious what that means, I encourage you to Google it. There are very graphic images and countless blogs outlining every step of the procedure and the aftermath. Believe me, I have seen and read them all! I have also worried myself to death over little things like how am I going to breathe with my jaw wired shut (worst nightmare) or how I’m going to talk when my jaw is closed for 90% of the day…..to larger things like when will I be able to bite into a juicy cheeseburger again, or have the pleasure of kissing a kind boy once more. I mean really. Those are two very important things in life (namely the kissing of the boy, or if in your case, the girl, which is wonderful and we should all be doing more of it)! Sadly, when you’re looking down a road of 9 months to possibly 2 years of recovery, those very basic human functions come into question. But again.God was not surprised!
I’ve had to face some of my greatest fears in these last few weeks but I’m no longer living in a state of panic, sadness, and fear. I keep reminding myself that God is not surprised! This experience will be another amazing story in my journey with Jesus and though I have my own theories about His purpose here, I also know that any plans He has are greater than I can ever imagine. He is not surprised!
Kind of funny isn’t it?! This super chatty chick is going to have to keep her mouth shut. Like, for real. Like, for a while. He has such a great sense of humor, doesn’t He? I can’t wait to sit and listen.